7 posts tagged “anthony”
I saw this video on neatorama.com - which is a website I visit DAILY - and I could not stop laughing, mostly because the lady was laughing too. Check it out.
http://www.neatorama.com/2007/05/15/funniest-911-call-ever/
I had a lot to write about, at least I did on my way home from my mom's yesterday, but I don't any longer. I'm going to start going to temple, I'm going to start giving my heart back to God, and I'm going to start trying to live my life in a positive light. I would not stop crying all the way from my mom's. It was terrible. Then we almost hit a deer. It sucked.
I miss Anthony a lot. And that's what has been making me cry the most recently. Sometimes, I hate to say this, I feel that I made a mistake. However, I know that for his sake and my own, we were better off separate. I love Rob, I do, but sometimes his negative attitude and the fact that he's not always the nicest person to other people, make me miss Ant's loving and fun attitude. Then I just have to remind myself of all the reasons that we didn't work out. I love you, Ant, always will. :)
Lola seems like she's sick. I hope she's okay. Sammich had bright pink eyes last night and I was worried, but I put some eye drops in and then today they seem better. Thank goodness, after getting fired, I don't need any more issues popping up.
Okay, more later. :)
I heard on the science channel that if you put a diamond on your tongue it will feel cold. So I put my wedding ring in my mouth. It's true, yo. Apparently it draws heat away from your body. Weird.
I've gotta have a friend in Jesus. So I know that when I die he's going to recommend me to the spirit in the sky. It's where I'm gonna go when I'm die.
Let's talk about this, so I'm Jewish. I have decided that Reformed Judaism is my best suited religion. My husband is an atheist and therefore does not believe in anything that I do. Sometimes there are problems, but mostly not. He has no problems with me holding a Passover Seder and has no problems with expecting our kids to observe Shabbat, however they will not be expected to not use electronic items and etc, because we aren't Hasidic Jews. So we are still doing out Shabbat Dinners together as a family and etc. That is, if we have kids.
I am less and less conviced that I will be able to have a child. And it makes me really sad because I wanted it to be by choice, not because physically I couldn't. You know?
Fall out Boy is a guilty pleasure of mine.
On Guitar Hero my favourite song to play is "Jessica" by the Allman Brothers. I'm pretty good at it, but I haven't been able to get to the "hard" stage of that game. Dammit.
I think this is enough blogging for now. I have nothing else to say. I miss Anthony a lot sometimes, but I don't think I miss him romantically, I just miss having him around and all the fun that he was. Ugh.
Robert is in Florida this week and I'm alone. And I hate it. I hate it. I have a lot of errands to run and I refuse to go out there and do them. Nah.
I talked to Anthony today, I missed him and wanted to hear his voice. Everytime I look at Lola it reminds me of him!
Anyway, he told me that he found out about me getting married etc. I was sad because I didn't want him to hear it from someone who randomly reads my journal, but oh well. I mean, he said he was upset for like five minutes and then he was okay. That means things are going well for him, doesn't it?
Today...
* I had to help people that spoke only Spanish. Their little cockatiel was injured and I had to do the whole translation thing. I didn't realize how poor my Spanish was until today.
* My boss was going to give a 2 week notice to an employee that I'm sort of sad to see go. She was just starting to come around.
* I wish I had more motivation.
* I found a ring that is both affordable, beautiful, and a real diamond! :)
* I am going to be happy, dammit. :) And I'm going to try to get to Harold's before they close and get some pictures developed.
* I will not worry about money.
Tomorrow...
* My mum and dad are coming up to SF. They are picking up their Schnauzers and taking me to Sam's Club to shop.
* My hair is getting chopped off, finally!
* My ferret may get his shots.
* I may not cry.
When does that feeling of not being at home at your mother's home hit you? It hit me today when I felt like an outsider, big time. My father wasn't welcoming to me or Rob, which is really unusual for him. Everyone was ignoring me like I had the plague. And hardly anyone said more than two sentences to either me or Rob. No one wants to get to know him, and I know that it's because they feel they have to have an allegiance to Anthony. But they have to realize that life moves on and this is it. And that's that, and it's not up to them to make up my mind for me.
Ugh. so anyway, it was really uncomfortable there today. Besides that, Anthony has become a source of stress and agitation for me. He talks to me on the phone and angers me or bothers me, I can't decide exactly which one it is. But it's really frustrating. And afterwards I feel like the world's worst person. No matter how hard I try, I just cannot be friends with him. I know that I don't HAVE TO BE, but he really doesn't have anyone around here and I wish I coul
Anyway, my song for today. Here you go:
What's up?
I'm not putting any tags on this one because there's no reason to. Well, I will but I'm not tagging it with QOTD or the subject because honestly, this is the gayest question of the day ever.
So, nothing is up right now. My family, 4 yr old cousin, and Anthony are here. We had dinner with my grandparents, my little sister, and my great-uncle. It was really nice to have my entire family together, but I get crap about Anthony and me not being together. So I had said to Anthony, "Oh you look handsome today!" And my grandmother immediately assumes that we're getting back together and that things are fine. Also, my grandma says "Your grandfather said that he's happy to see you two together because he was starting to think things." And so I say to her, "I'm his best friend, he's mine, and we're always going to be close, but we're never getting back together." I hate that I have to make sure that I say that sort of thing EVERY time I even talk to Anthony because they just ASSUME things.
I wish that Rob was more willing to meet my family. My mom asked me about him and I said that he was a friend and that he was coming up and staying with us next weekend. And she said "Do you know him?" I said, "Uh, yeah." LIke it was a really dumb question and she told me to be careful. And I didn't say anything, but it makes me kind of sad to keep him a secret and it makes me sad that it will be a long time before we can continue our relationship. I refuse to do so until he meets my family and I know that things between him and them will be okay. I guess I'm an old fashioned girl... they mean a lot to me and that's the way things will be.
So... yeah. Now my family and Anthony are still here, but I just want to be alone. I know that's a terrible thing to say, especially since I'm alone all the time. I kind of want my parents to stay overnight, but if they do, Anthony will leave, and if they go, then Ant will stay. Why can't they all just go or stay or not put me in the middle? I don't know.
I'm confused.
<3 Ro
On the morning when I woke up without you for the first time
I felt free and I felt lonely and I felt scared
And I began to talk to myself almost immediately
Not being used to being the only person there
The first time I made coffee for just myself, I made too much of it
But I drank it all just cause you hate it when I let things go to waste
And I wandered through the house like a little boy lost in the fall
And an astronaut could've seen the hunger in my eyes from space
And I sang
Oh, What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?
What do I do without you?
On the morning when I woke up without you for the first time
I was cold so I put on a sweater and I turned up the heat
And the walls began to close in and I felt so sad and freightened
I practically ran from the living room and into the street
And the wind began to blow and the trees began to pant
And the world in its cold way started coming alive
And I stood there like a buisness man waiting for the train
And I got ready for the future to arrive
And I sang
Oh, What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?
What do I do without you?
What are your plans for the holiday weekend?
I'm going to return my FM Transmitter to Target because it's broken (insert sad face here). And then I'm going to cash my ridiculously low paycheck and then I will go home and lay down some more. I have nothing to do right now. Also, I have nothing that I need to worry about. I'm just going to lay about and loaf. Then at night Anthony and I have plans to go out to dinner and maybe watch a movie, we'll see how we feel.
Then tomorrow I'm driving to my mom's house. She wants to see me. My grandparents want to see me. So I'm going up on Sunday and coming back on Monday afternoon. Anthony may join us on Monday, my grandma would like to see him. She said she still loves him even through everything, and that we just need to stick to what we feel is right. She said the world is full of men, and I told her, it's okay I already found one, but I don't think she took me seriously.
Anyway, that's that. And if I don't get to Target or to the bank, I'm not going to worry about it. I don't really care.
<3 R
